If you’re communicating through electronic media, it’s even more important to be consistent and clear verbally.
What Did You Say?
98% of all men rated themselves as being in the upper half of the population in terms of their listening skills. Huh? How does THAT math work? Of course, women would be much more accurate in ranking their own listening skills, right? Not!
We hear more about poor listening skills at work than you can imagine. Most people think they are much better listeners than others do.
What is a big payoff for your perception? Engaged listening can make you stand out in a very positive way. It makes you stand out because so many people do it poorly! Here’s a slice of how one client increased his impact as a listener:
- Acknowledge the speaker with more slowly delivered filler words (e.g., “Ahhh”, “Got it”) so you’re not sitting there silently. The quieter you are, the longer they’ll talk to try to get a reaction from you!
- Show you are interested with your facial expressions. Many people look like they’re scowling when they are just concentrating. Avoid impatient nodding or negative head shaking before the speaker has finished.
- Draw others out, ask more questions of them – you get huge credit for wisdom by asking great questions.
- Acknowledge what you heard so people know their comments had an impact.
- Acknowledge the other person’s point of view thoroughly. You can summarize what you heard them saying in neutral wording … even when you disagree with some, or all, of what they said.
Listening in a more engaged manner can minimize your boredom and give you far more useful information to help you make great decisions. Even though they’re stressed and busy, many people are bored at work. An active conversation can help them, and you.
Your number one secret to career success
The Center for Creative Leadership studies show 40% of all top executives will fail within the first 18 months of a new assignment. Ouch! The #1 Reason: Interpersonal and Communications Skills.
Before you think, “That is not my problem.” Think again! We have worked for over 25 years with top leaders in many of the premier companies in the world. Most leaders think they are better communicators than they are … that is why it is the top reason they fail.
We know that simple changes in interpersonal and communications can make the difference between the top performers and the “also ran”. We have seen in time and time again.
The CCL studies show the issues to be:
- Insensitivity to others
- Cold, aloof, arrogance
- defensiveness
- A lack of poise under pressure
- Annoyingly ambitiousness
We work individually over 12 to 18 months with high talent leaders. The most common response from our clients is, “I wish I had done this ten years ago!” We do not have a time machine to turn back the clock. We do have experience in coaching that is reported to add seven to ten years of maturity for talented leaders.
Most people do not want to pay our fees for individual coaching. That is OK with us. We have all the business we can handle. What is not OK with us is not being able to help people around the world who have asked for our help after reading our book, “Seeing Yourself as Others Do – Authentic Executive Presence at Any Stage of Your Career“. It is our mission to be able to help many more people in the world. Part of the proceeds will go toward scholarships for leaders in non-profit organizations.
This blog and other resource on the Change Masters Academy website will share the coaching experience like sitting across the table from highly experienced coaches. Pragmatic advice that has changed lives for the better for leaders around the world.
Understanding these things can increase your competitiveness in the workplace, reduce the amount of time it takes for you to get things done with your team and get tremendously improved rankings as a listener, presenter and communicator.
Our motto at Change Masters is, “We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behaviors”. If you don’t know what your behaviors say to others, you are living in a world of blind spots that could derail your success.