Individual Coaching

Angela Ahrendts’ Authenticity

January 22, 2018 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

I have received multiple inquiries asking whether Angela Ahrendts was one of our clients. If she were, I could not acknowledge that fact without her permission.

Angela Ahrendts is Senior Vice President of Apple

Ahrendts is currently a Senior Vice President of Apple. There was an INC article quoting her in an interview that said she went to Minneapolis for two days of video coaching and walked out after the first half-day because she felt she was being asked to be something she was not. Her Shakespeare quote was “So, I just think that to thyself be true.”

To Be Perfectly Clear

We have never had a client walk out on us after a half-day. Our goal in coaching is to help people be more authentic and not less so. We provide a money-back guarantee that no one has ever claimed in over three decades of coaching.

“Seeing Yourself as Others Do” informs each of us about what everybody else already knows. Having a new awareness and choosing to communicate more effectively does not change our core being. In fact, awareness increases our authenticity. One of the more common responses when people see themselves through others’ eyes is, “That is not what I meant!” The natural action is to improve communication to better reflect one’s intent. That seems more authentic to me.

Being Ourselves

We all have a meter in our heads when someone is talking that tells us if we believe the other person is authentic, or if we believe they are a fake. We value authenticity in others and hopefully strive to be authentic ourselves.

What does that really mean? There is an internal authenticity … making choices that align with our values and principles … our true north. Most discussion of authenticity focuses on internal authenticity, which is very important. There is an external authenticity where others believe we are being authentic or not. When attempting to influence or lead others … external authenticity is very important.

When our visual, vocal, and content messages are aligned, people see us as authentic. When the vocal tone or voice do match the content … we believe the visual and vocal over the content. We see them as fake. We intuitively know that managing our facial expression and vocal tone is harder to manipulate than our words. Even method actors need to imagine the emotion or situation to get their face and voice to express that emotion. For the rest of us, it turns out that understanding the Other Person’s Point of View (OPPOV™) and being more thoughtful in our communication is much more effective and more authentic.

Saying whatever comes to our mind is not being authentic … it is immature. We are one person and yet we appropriately communicate somewhat differently with our children (as a toddler or a teenager), parents, college friends, work associates, and our neighbors. The communication can all be somewhat different and still be authentic. Being choiceful and aware of how we are impacting the other person is self-awareness. It is also our key to being externally authentic.

Authentic Executive Presence

Over a decade ago, as we wrote our book, we asked people about “executive presence”. Some thought it was being fake or an “empty suit”. Yet, when we asked about who had executive presence and why … the answers were around vision, motivation, listening, presentations, relationships, effectiveness and many other positive characteristics. We were choiceful in adding “authentic” to the title of our book, “Seeing Yourself as Others Do – Authentic Executive Presence at Any Stage of Your Career”

Being authentic requires us to spend more time being our “higher self”, which is a choice based on understanding our impact. We all have a complex of good and bad instincts in us. We get to choose every moment as to which part of our “real self” we are going to be. Both sides of us are authentic and impact our relationships. Understanding our impact and choosing which part of ourselves we want to be is the ultimate authenticity.

The Problem With Hi-Po

November 13, 2017 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

Forty percent of designated “Hi-Po” (high-potential employees) are seen as disappointing in their performance, and often derail at some later point in their careers. Harvard Business Review, in an article (by Tomas Chamorrow-Premuzic and Abhijot) has identified that the selection process in many companies is flawed by politics. Developing future leaders is very important. How the individuals are selected, and developed, has a major impact on the future of the organization.

When the the truly strong future leaders are not developed, they often leave … maybe even going to the competition. How a company develops leaders impacts the entire organization’s view of the company’s commitment to development.

The authors see:

Small Comfort Zones

October 23, 2017 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

We live in comfort zones that are three sizes too small

Most of our clients are very uncomfortable when I turn on the video camera in a coaching session. They typically do not like some of what they see on the video playback. Seeing what it looks like on the other side of the table in our weaker moments is not comfortable … it may be downright painful. Unfortunately, everyone else has been seeing the painful view for a long time. Once we know what we are doing that does not work well, we have the choice to change our behavior. We can adjust our behaviors in meaningful ways.

A Second Time

How Old Are You?

March 10, 2017 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

When my father was 60, he referred to himself as being “middle-aged”. His friend asked him, “How many people do you know who are 120?”

A Life Well Lived

Minnesota Orchestra Conductor Laureate Stanislaw Skrowaczewski was born in Poland 93 years ago. He started playing piano at age 4. He loved playing music until he was injured by a bomb during World War II. He became a conductor in Warsaw and Cleveland before he took over the Minneapolis Symphony in 1960. A few months ago we heard him conduct the Minnesota Orchestra with such gusto that it was hard to believe he was 93 years-old. His love for the music was clear. One non-stop performance was 80 minutes long without using the written score. Last year he conducted in over a dozen countries. So how old was Skrowaczewski? Sadly, he died last month. He fully lived all of his 93 years.

Being Engaged in Life

There are numerous studies that all point to being engaged in something you find worthwhile (for pay or not) significantly improves our happiness and our health. I feel blessed to feel that way about what I do. Most of my “work” gives me energy, even though I am well past what many think is retirement age. See my blog Build your Return on Life (ROL) from 2014 about Mitch Anthony’s book “The New Retirementality” that challenges the concept of a retirement age as a leftover concept from the Industrial Revolution.

How Old Should I Feel?

I do not advocate that people should not retire because I have not done so. There are many people who have sacrificed enormously to build their career and feed their families. They have traveled extensively, or in other ways, sacrificed family time to do work that is not all that satisfying any more. Finding a way to remove from your life what is draining and add things that are nourishing is a wonderful endeavor. I know many who have focused on their grandchildren to recapture what they lost with their own children’s growing years. That is a fabulous opportunity to recover. Others have found the artist inside them during their retirement, like President George W. Bush.

My misconception of how a grandfather should feel is very apparent to me. Looking at the photo of the man looking in the mirror pretty well captures the gap. I feel like the younger man, and the mirror reflects an older man. I expected to feel like the older man in my 70’s, but I don’t… most of the time.

I know many who think their 60’s and 70’s are the best years of their lives. Maybe the 80’s too …. I just have not asked enough people in their 80’s. That was not my expectation when I was in my 30’s. That was not how I saw my grandfather in his 70’s.

Should We Allow More People to Work Longer?

Many would say, “Not on your life!” and others would find community, contribution and maybe purpose, if they were able to continue to work. Warren Buffet continues to make good investments in his 80’s. The Supreme Court is filled with senior citizens. Many cultures honor the wisdom of age more than the US culture.

There are definitely limitations brought on by aging. There are also strengths that build with continued age. I was blessed with a grandmother who was young at heart and willing to share honest wisdom such as, “Those who talk about the ‘good old days’ have bad memories. It was not all good.”

The companies who can overcome unfounded age discrimination and also make adjustments, where appropriate, to work rules will have a competitive advantage in many industries.