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You need to create trust remotely to excel. With the global uncertainty due to coronavirus surging, creating a deliberate remote impact is crucial.
Change Masters has a remote executive presence coaching experience that has been incredibly successful. We coach seven people simultaneously and remotely with live coaching – it can keep you from being misinterpreted from afar!
Executive Presence Tip – Carol Keers
My normal place to park in downtown Minneapolis was full. The alternative is a more expensive valet parking lot nearby. I leave a little extra time in case I need to use valet parking, but it rushed me to be on time.
After the meeting, the automated payment system would not accept the strip on either of my business credit cards. I placed my folio on top of the machine as I pulled out my cash. The attendant had already brought my car to the door. It was a busy place and I appreciated his promptness.
I drove back to my office. As I shut off the car and reached for my folio, I realized it was left on top of the payment system cabinet. The flash of leaving my computer, that contained everything, at that busy location caused my adrenaline to rush to my head. All my data was secure, but it would take weeks to rebuild a new computer and make it fully functional. How do you even reach the parking lot by phone?
My receipt had the name of the lot, but no phone number. A quick Internet search on my phone actually showed a phone number to call the lot. Their response was, “Yes, we found it and have it in the office.” I had that feeling of relief when the adrenaline valve shuts-off in the body. I returned to the parking lot and the folio was again back in hand. I was very appreciative.
I thought of the book I recently read which was “Talking to Strangers” by Malcolm Gladwell. Gladwell talks about how we trust or don’t trust others. He talks about how being trusting of the wrong people causes difficulties, using examples like Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme and many other examples.
Generally, we tend to trust people we think we know and not trust those we do not know. It is trust that allows our society and businesses to function. If we distrusted every transaction, society would break down.
Back to my folio. Why did I fear the loss of my folio? If I had chosen to have confidence that someone would act in a way I would in that situation, I would have had less fear. If I parked often enough in that lot and I knew the people, I would have likely been less afraid of loss.
The truth is that I could trust strangers. I have my folio to prove it. I acknowledge there are limits, but I want to make a different point.
What happens when the relationships are within a company; with customers or with vendors? Much of the silo impact in organizations is because of a “we/they” view of other departments. Much of contract management is based on distrust between vendors and buyers. Much of the vulnerability in the marketplace is because customers/prospects do not feel a relationship with the company.
It turns out that people who progress in larger organizations are more likely to network broadly in the organization, so they relate to others in the organization as trustworthy acquaintances. Companies that have formed true partnerships with key vendors have benefited from their expertise, trust, and perspective. Companies that have a relationship with their customers gain a loyalty to the company, and are thus more likely to be given the benefit of the doubt when there are difficulties. They receive more loyalty when there are competitors.
What many people refer to as “soft skills” of turning strangers into acquaintances is a powerful advantage. It also helps reduce the adrenaline hit when something goes wrong — such as my missing folio equivalent. Soft skills have hard benefits.
When my father was 60, he referred to himself as being “middle-aged”. His friend asked him, “How many people do you know who are 120?”
Minnesota Orchestra Conductor Laureate Stanislaw Skrowaczewski was born in Poland 93 years ago. He started playing piano at age 4. He loved playing music until he was injured by a bomb during World War II. He became a conductor in Warsaw and Cleveland before he took over the Minneapolis Symphony in 1960. A few months ago we heard him conduct the Minnesota Orchestra with such gusto that it was hard to believe he was 93 years-old. His love for the music was clear. One non-stop performance was 80 minutes long without using the written score. Last year he conducted in over a dozen countries. So how old was Skrowaczewski? Sadly, he died last month. He fully lived all of his 93 years.
There are numerous studies that all point to being engaged in something you find worthwhile (for pay or not) significantly improves our happiness and our health. I feel blessed to feel that way about what I do. Most of my “work” gives me energy, even though I am well past what many think is retirement age. See my blog Build your Return on Life (ROL) from 2014 about Mitch Anthony’s book “The New Retirementality” that challenges the concept of a retirement age as a leftover concept from the Industrial Revolution.
I do not advocate that people should not retire because I have not done so. There are many people who have sacrificed enormously to build their career and feed their families. They have traveled extensively, or in other ways, sacrificed family time to do work that is not all that satisfying any more. Finding a way to remove from your life what is draining and add things that are nourishing is a wonderful endeavor. I know many who have focused on their grandchildren to recapture what they lost with their own children’s growing years. That is a fabulous opportunity to recover. Others have found the artist inside them during their retirement, like President George W. Bush.
My misconception of how a grandfather should feel is very apparent to me. Looking at the photo of the man looking in the mirror pretty well captures the gap. I feel like the younger man, and the mirror reflects an older man. I expected to feel like the older man in my 70’s, but I don’t… most of the time.
I know many who think their 60’s and 70’s are the best years of their lives. Maybe the 80’s too …. I just have not asked enough people in their 80’s. That was not my expectation when I was in my 30’s. That was not how I saw my grandfather in his 70’s.
Many would say, “Not on your life!” and others would find community, contribution and maybe purpose, if they were able to continue to work. Warren Buffet continues to make good investments in his 80’s. The Supreme Court is filled with senior citizens. Many cultures honor the wisdom of age more than the US culture.
There are definitely limitations brought on by aging. There are also strengths that build with continued age. I was blessed with a grandmother who was young at heart and willing to share honest wisdom such as, “Those who talk about the ‘good old days’ have bad memories. It was not all good.”
The companies who can overcome unfounded age discrimination and also make adjustments, where appropriate, to work rules will have a competitive advantage in many industries.
The first 90 days in a new role or a new company are important to get right. First impressions are difficult to change after 90 days.
There are several common-sense things you need to do when moving into a new situation. Unfortunately, we often see people make significant mistakes in one 
or more of the areas below. Often the adrenalin from excitement or fear causes people to come on too strong; or conversely, be too laid back. The 90 days go by quickly. If you are too focused on task … the opportunity is lost forever. Use the grace period you normally receive in the first 90 days to lay the groundwork for a successful first year. Key points:
Focus on Listening and Learning
It is easy to see what you would do differently based on your experience. Wait. Make sure you demonstrate interest in what others have done in the past. Ask questions. Show respect. Clearly let them know you want to help build on past successes. If you have been told you were brought in as a “change agent” … don’t be too sure or move too fast. The phrase is often more of a recruiting message than an organizational message.
Use meetings well
Many people will likely create their lasting impression by the way they participate in meetings. Match your vocal and visual approach to those around you who seem to be most effective in meetings. People often come on too strong vocally or visually when they are trying to make their mark in the first 90 days. No one wants a nervous airline pilot. Don’t you be the one making them nervous! If you are making them nervous, you won’t last in the corporate relationship.
Look for “Low Hanging Fruit”
Most situations provide relatively small changes that can bring immediate payback, have low controversy, are easy to implement and within your control. Make those changes and share the credit. Help people think of you as working with them and getting results.
Build your network quickly
Being new is a natural reason to have a meeting, lunch, or coffee with key people in your area as well is in other areas. After 90 days it can be more difficult to orchestrate.
Be ready with a plan by 100 days
After you have made the 90 days work for your personal brand, it’s time for a clear and simple plan. Engage your boss and other stakeholders as well as your team. Be ready to deliver results that are perceptible to others.
Delivering results matter
Set clear expectations. Update others regularly. Avoid unpleasant surprises. Manage your perception as well as your product. Get your results through others.
Bottom line: When joining a new department or company, don’t make it just about results. Relationships matter. Let them get to know you. Share a little more about yourself, your family and your interests than you might have in the past so they can understand more of what you bring to the party. With strong and trusting relationships throughout the company, your early results will actually have a greater impact.