Choices in life require trade-offs. Those trade-offs will have consequences for you and others, and not everyone will like their consequences. Some may not like you as a result. You need to be thoughtful about how others may react, but how you deal with that reaction needs to be a separate decision.
If you need to fire someone or lay them off after clear and careful consideration, it can be very difficult. Fear of how someone will react is wise. How you deal with someone’s reaction is a separate decision. One of my more painful decisions to fire someone is still very vivid in my mind.
The choice …
I took over an organization where a major project was a disaster in many ways. Week after week, Dan would tell the CEO he would solve the problems in a week and could reduce the number of contractors on the project. It was a lie. Dan was leading a team that was working as hard as they possibly could. Personally, Dan was working 80 to 100 hours per week.
Unfortunately, the culture of the group was that leaders would say what people wanted to hear and not the truth. Credibility was zero. Dan was now my subordinate. He was incredibly likeable. He was running the biggest project.
I had coached Dan for several weeks not to lie to the CEO. We would meet with the CEO and he would lie again. Finally, I told him he could say whatever he needed to say in the meeting, but if he said, “We will solve the problems in a week and cut the number of contractors.” he would be fired.
We were meeting again with the CEO regarding this high-profile project. Dan was doing well. At the end, the CEO asked, “When will these problems be solved so we can reduce our spending?” Dan responded with, “By the end of the week.”
I could not believe my ears. We walked across the hall to my office and closed the door. “Dan, do you want me to start processing the paperwork or would you like to resign?”
“I’ll have the letter to you this afternoon.”
I felt terrible and he felt terrible. It was still a good decision. Not only did he make a bad choice in the face of a clear contingency, but I needed to communicate to the entire organization that lies were not acceptable.
When I followed up with Dan the next week to see how he was doing, it did not help my frame of mind. His seventeen year-old daughter ran away from home and his father had died. I felt terrible that I had added another rock to his pile of tragedies. I prayed that he would have the strength to handle the setbacks.
Dan found another job fairly quickly that was a better fit for him. His daughter returned home. He was doing as well as could be expected a few weeks later. Often the short-term pain is followed by gain … but you never know that when you make the decision. Fortunately, that was true for Dan in terms of his job.
Looking back …
The “do not lie” message was received by the organization. People chose to be more honest. The new leader of the project got it under control and completed with honesty. The credibility of the organization increased significantly. Mission accomplished!
It is very tempting to delay a decision or to modify a decision because you fear the other person’s reaction; or you do not want to hurt that person’s feelings. I liked Dan and I preferred that he liked me. Others in the department also liked him. Separating the decision from the reaction; to deal with them separately; is the best long-term solution. In this example, the decision was clear and the consequences ultimately positive.
When the decision is less clear or is a personal decision with a loved one, it can be even more difficult. It is just as important … or likely more important. That is another topic.
Leave a Reply