Here are some valuable tips on how to break out of this cycle.
The Know / Like / Trust factor.
If you are selling for a living, it is crucial for potential clients to get to know, like, and trust you before they are ready to invest with you. The same thing is true, however, no matter what you do for a living. When you don’t trust someone, it’s palpable. With all the trauma and drama in the workplace today, it’s easy to get swept up into spin cycles of mistrust.
How we get stuck in a Spin Cycle of Mistrust?
It happens to the best of us. We sink to the lowest common denominator and don’t demonstrate authentic executive presence. In our rush from one task to another we rely too heavily on what others have told us and don’t check it out for ourselves, or we jump to conclusions based on past experiences and perceptions about an individual or a group. One day we realize we’re caught in a continuous loop that seems impossible to break out of gracefully. How we handle these situations often sets off a similar reaction in the people we’re trying to lead or influence, and that’s a blueprint for disaster.
The solution is to demonstrate mature executive presence; to distinguish yourself as a professional whom others go to for calm in the storm. Too often, leaders lose sight of how closely they’re watched by others, particularly those who report to them, and can do major damage when they don’t demonstrate trustworthy and authentic executive presence.
Three aspects of trust:
Trust involves three aspects – predictability, maturity and the “like me” factor. The “like me” factor is based on the notion that we just naturally seem to trust people who are more like us. Trust is fragile when you’re in charge! It’s easy for trust to be broken when you have perceived power over others. You can break this spin cycle of mistrust by taking these seven steps.
Seven Steps to Step Off the Spin Cycle of Mistrust:
Step One: Realize the seductiveness of other people’s trauma and drama!
Step Two: Choose to step off the spin cycle.
Step Three: Listen / trust your gut / apply the smell test.
Step Four: Go to the source of the conflict – dig in to understand their point of view.
Step Five: Avoid assumptions – ask the tough questions.
Step Six: Show empathy for the drama lover’s dilemma, but don’t encourage their extremes.
Step Seven: Test your new perspective with everyone involved to make sure you’re all on the same page.
Realize that trust has both a task and an emotional component to it. There are two types of trust: task trust is doing what you say you will do when you say you’ll do it; emotional trust is entirely different — it’s the willingness to believe someone. If you can jump off the spin cycle of mistrust, you can manage both task and emotional trust with maturity and grace.
Bottom line: Choose trust instead of FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real)!